I know that my family's lifestyle made it very difficult to have dinner as a family.  My husband and I worked opposite shifts, so family dinners were not possible during the week.  Later, as the children grew older and became involved in outside activities, having dinner together with them during the week was also a challenge to schedule.  One thing I always tried to do was have one family dinner a week, usually on the weekend.  This was a time when all of us gathered at the table to eat (often a homemade meal and sometimes carry out) and most importantly - connect as a family.  No TV or other distractions.  Everyone had a chance to share their week and most importantly, listen to what each person had to say.

A recent article about dinner habits and customs caught my eye recently, so I decided to do a bit more research into to subject.  What I found was rather enlightening (to me at least), so I thought I would share here. 

There is a great deal of variation these days, as to when people eat dinner and how they eat dinner!  It wasn't always that way.

An article from History Magazine, first published in 2001, takes a historical look at the evolution of "mealtime".  Here are a few points from the article.

The names of meals and general times they were eaten were once fairly standard.  Going back to medieval times, "breakfast" was first thing in the morning, "dinner" was midday, and "supper" was not long before going to bed (usually around sundown).  Our modern variations (some say confusion) came about from changing social customs and classes, political and economic developments and the influence of technology.

The main meal of the day in the past was "dinner", eaten midday.  This was tradition of the wealthy and well to do.  Those lower in the social order, considered middle class,  had to eat later in the day, because their lives were driven by work vs. rituals.  They would eat in the early afternoon and return to their shops and businesses to meet afternoon customers. Their meals were less lavish affairs, but still substantial.

Those at the low end of social order, the peasants, took a break from work and had dinner around noon.  They usually had less to eat than the more well to do, and consumed much less variety.

Eating a main meal midday was influenced out of necessity.  Living habits back then were managed by the availability of "light".  Artificial lighting provided by candles and oil lamps was a costly luxury, requiring the less wealthy to retire "early" when darkness arrived.  Supper was a light meal, usually consumed before the sun disappeared for the day.  This pattern continued for centuries. 

Capitalism, colonialism and the industrial revolution changed the world's economy.  Many people had more money to spend. More goods became available to more people, including access to artificial lighting.  Living habits began changing because they were no longer tied to the cycle of sun up and sun down.  People stayed up later and woke up later in the day.  Work habits began changing too, with people working farther from home, taking a "sack lunch" to work and the midday meal became lighter fare.  The main meal was pushed to later in the day, after work hours and people would eat their main meal at home.

English immigrants coming to North America brought their habits with them, gradually changing over time, but at a slower pace than Britain.  In our current century, dinner is eaten any time between noon and midnight.  Mealtimes are now very fluid and changing, reflecting the flexible lifestyles of people. 

A Cornell University article looks at family mealtimes and whether eating meals as a family makes a difference.  Research continues to look at the effects of shared family meals, but evidence to date suggests that family meals do provide benefits for children and youth.  Researchers recommend the following to improve family mealtime:

1. Set a goal to have regular family meals at least three times per week.
2. Remember the benefits of consistent family mealtimes (generates feeling of closeness and comfort)
3. Quality of family meals is just as important as quantity. (guard mealtimes from outside distractions to help communication)

Lastly, and what originally prompted my interest in this subject, is a photo study called Dinner in NY.  Miho Aikawa's idea for this project was to propose what dinner is to people, how different it can be for everyone, and to present the diversity found in this everyday act.  On his website, Aikawa stated "A study in Public Health Nutrition which compiles data relating to Americans food-related time use over the past 30 years reveals some interesting trends: Eating as a primary activity declined in the past 30 years.  On the other hand, eating as a secondary activity rose dramatically in the past 30 years.  When we combine the primary and secondary eating time, we see that we're spending an average of 25 or more minutes in total daily than we did 30 years ago.  We now do almost 50 percent of our eating food consumption while concentrating on something else."  (my comment-makes me wonder about the obesity problems and the fact that we are not totally focused on what or how much we are eating?)  Visit his link below and take a look at his photo study, it's rather revealing.

http://www.history-magazine.com/dinner2.html

http://www.human.cornell.edu/pam/outreach/upload/Family-Mealtimes-2.pdf

http://www.mihophoto.com/projects/dinnerinny/

This past weekend, I attended the wedding of my youngest son's best friend.  Attending weddings of family, friends and acquaintances can be a pretty routine thing.  Of course, all weddings are truly "individual" as they are designed by the bride and groom. But the event itself, marking the witnessing and celebration of a loving couple becoming united as one, is universal in concept.  I attended this wedding with excitement, because I've known the groom since he was in grade school and my son, his best friend since childhood, was serving as Best Man.  As the evening ended, I became profoundly aware of the other deeper connections that were in evidence that night.

My children were raised in a great neighborhood.  Their school was nearby and there were many other children (mostly boys) living in the area.  They all formed close friendships that are sustained even to this day.   The neighboring families all knew each other, with the common connection being our children.  Those boys were never without a "mom" watching over them.  With our houses scattered within close proximity, the "mom network" was always at work with "eyes on the guys" regardless of where they were hanging out.  Yes, they did play video games to some extent, but unlike what seems to be happening to children these days, they were still of a generation that disappeared into the neighborhood and found ways to entertain themselves in the outdoors.

Those boys would gather year round to play.  At the wedding, we (their parents), shared stories and memories about all of "our boys".  Yes, we had collective "ownership" of them all.  They spent many hours on Rollerblades, playing street hockey on the dead end street.  They went sledding on the hill located at the school next door, and built snow forts in the snow piles dumped by snow plows.   In the fall, they played in leaf piles collected from the many trees, tossed around their football, and traveled in a "pack" for annual trick or treating on Halloween.  In the summer heat, they filled their massive Supersoakers and chased each other for hours. They played at the "big toy", the large wooden play scape at the school next door. They traveled on vacation with each others families.  Enter middle school.  They rode in carpools together and they played school sports together.  I vividly remember driving home a car filled with sweaty, smelly young guys, fresh from practice on the football field.  We parents would sit together at games cheering wins and lamenting losses. The boys dabbled in movie production, creating and appearing in funny video stories. They experimented with music, writing songs, singing and playing their instruments.  They even created a modest CD that they sold to friends at school (they charged so little, they basically gave them away).  They all learned to drive at the same time, and we parents all fretted together.  Homecoming, prom and other social activities...were all shared experiences bound by their friendships.  Only when attending college, did their physical bonds become separated by distance.  But social networking and texting connected them still.  They made trips they to each others schools, to visit and watch football together. 

Now, the "village boys"  have all finished their studies, and are moving into the work world to make their way and embrace the next stage of their lives. Their bonds endure and they are moving forward "together" as friends.

It was a wonderful night of happiness watching the little boy I knew all grown up stepping into the next phase of life with his new wife.  Yet I still could not erase the image of a mischievous little boy I remembered, from my mind.   The "village" was there to witness the event.  One of the special moments of the evening was near the end.  As the festivities concluded, I noticed most of the guests had already said their goodbyes and departed.  Yet who remained?  The neighbors.  Parents of our "village boys".  Everyone of us lingering, reminiscing and shaking our heads and asking "Where did the time go?"

I don't have grandchildren yet, but maybe you do. Parenting is a hard job.  Some say that the reward of parenting is becoming a grandparent where you can "enjoy" children without all the hard work.  You can spoil your grand kids and then give them back to their parents and let them to do the hard job of day to day child rearing.  I know my two children loved spending time with grandparents.  I am sure they were doted on and spoiled while in their care!

I recently saw this item on the news and it caught my eye.  We have a history of dementia and Alzheimer's Disease in our families.  I've been doing a great deal of reading about what you can do now to help prevent dementia.  It is reported that adopting certain behaviors and activities in your life can help delay and even deter development of Alzheimer's Disease.  Common thinking is that if you are destined to get Alzheimer's Disease, there is nothing you can do to stop it.  While that might be true for a percentage of Alzheimer's cases, there is evidence that supports the fact that you can adopt lifestyles and behaviors that will help keep you from developing Alzheimer's or at the very least, delay it.  That will be a topic of a future Musing that everyone should read if you want to be proactive about this disease.

Today's Musing presents a recent study about how caring for grandchildren can lower the likelihood of developing disorders affecting memory or cognitive ability.  Being socially engaged is one preventative strategy that is suggested for avoiding dementia and Alzheimer's. A 2011 study completed by Rush University Medical Center in Chicago found that seniors who stay most socially engaged show less cognitive decline on testing.

The Women's Healthy Aging Project in Australia published results online in Menopause, the journal of The North American Menopause Society (NAMS). This study looked at 186 women ages 57 to 68. 120 were grandmothers.  The participants completed 3 mental assessment tests that measured cognitive abilities.  Findings suggested that taking care of grand kids one day a week helped keep grandmothers mentally sharp.  Ironically, the study also found that caring for grandchildren five days a week or more could actually have some negative effects.  Those grandmothers demonstrated poorer performances on mental sharpness tests.  The grandmothers caring for their grandchildren one day a week performed best on two of three tests.  Those spending five days a week or more did noticeably worse on the test that measures working memory and mental processing speed.

This was an unexpected finding.  Researchers also found that with increasing time spent caring for grandchildren, grandmothers reported that they felt their own children were more demanding of them.  It's possible that these feelings of being stressed out from the responsibilities of child rearing as well as being stretched too thin to make time for themselves could lead to some decline in the brain's performance.  Other studies already exist showing that women who experience even mild forms of emotional or situational stress take longer to remember recently acquired information. Naturally, follow up research is being conducted.

What if your grandchildren live very far away?  Technology can help bridge that gap.  A 2014 Pew Research Internet Project reported that 46% of seniors who use the Internet visit social media sites.  Doing this promotes stronger and more consistent connections with their loved ones.  The added benefits of options like Skype and FaceTime, where you are able to see people you are talking to, strengthens the quality of technological social engagement.

Those with no grandchildren to care for have options too!  There is no reason your social involvement has to be centered around relatives or children.  Volunteering, becoming involved in church activities, taking classes, frequenting a local senior center or regularly socializing with friends can have the same beneficial impact on your brain function, and enhance feelings of happiness.

What do I take away from this?  One key to promoting cognitive health seems to be maintaining an active social connection with family, friends and community that is not stressful or demanding.

http://www.alzheimersweekly.com/2014/04/a-grandchild-for-one-day-keeps-dementia.html

http://jonbarron.org/alzheimers-and-dementia/grandkids-boost-brain#.VAKsVmOx3tQ

I actually read this book about a year ago.  I happened to reference this book/author recently in an earlier Musing about Learning To Lose. 
The subjects of this book are people born in the 1970's through the 1990's and who are of the thinking that "self comes first".  As stated in the author's website: Generation Me has never known a world that put duty before self, and believes that the needs of the individual should come first.  This thinking is distinctly different than "being selfish".  Phrasing often associated with Generation Me is: "Be Yourself", "Believe In Yourself", "Love Yourself Before You Can Love Others".

We live in a time where children are encouraged to have high self esteem only to be disappointed by what they find upon reaching adulthood.  With the highest self esteem of any generation, they find that their expectations clash with reality.  This generation has a feeling of entitlement, believing they deserve everything immediately.  This generation has  "shockingly high expectations for salary, job flexibility and duties" (source Generation Me)

GenMe has been raised thinking they are special, received extensive praise and almost expect it.  They are not motivated by feelings of duty, working hard is not virtuous in itself, but worth it if they are singled out and recognized.  Marketers and salespeople already know about and use the self-focus of Generation Me.  As customers, they are interested in products that satisfy their personal wants and that help them express themselves as individuals.  (taken from Generation Me)

Generation Me  takes a hard look at parenting practices, the self esteem movement, and practices in education.  Twenge also points out the connection between the self esteem movement and development of the negative personality trait of narcissism (the belief that one is better and more important than anyone else).  Narcissistic traits are damaging to personal relationships, and employment success.  To learn more about members of Generation Me, their thinking, and what has reinforced their life outlook, read the book.  It is thorough, enlightening, and backed by research and data.

http://www.generationme.org/index.html

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1431497/posts

I recently posted a Musing about Learning to Lose.  To summarize, that post talked about the "everyone wins" climate in   parenting and education and how this perspective does a disservice to children as they mature.  When they enter adulthood, they are ill prepared to deal with disappointments, failures and constructive criticism.

This Musing is a follow up to that first post.  Learning to accept constructive criticism and feedback is essential to obtaining a realistic perspective of one's product or output and sets the stage for adjustment and improvement.  We must embrace feedback if we are to get better

The article below from Monster.com provides some good information about this topic, with key ideas being:

1.  Listen
2.  Don't get defensive
3.  Evaluate the feedback
4.  Look for opportunities to change.

visit the links to read more details.

http://news.monster.com/a/business/how-to-receive-feedback-and-criticism-9fa0b8?wt.mc_n=CRM_US_B2C_NEWS_Exp_140818

http://www.forbes.com/sites/dailymuse/2012/11/07/taking-constructive-criticism-like-a-champ/

http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/columnist/kay/2013/02/15/at-work-criticism-sensitivity/1921903/

Everyone wants to be a winner!  What's wrong with that? the problem is: It doesn't  reflect the reality of life.  A a child grows, matures and enters adult life, the harsh reality will be that there will be failures, there will be times you don't succeed, and there will be times when you don't get what you want.  How well a person copes with those failures and disappointments will depend on their adaptability and coping skills, skills that are developed through childhood experiences.

It seems that children are now growing up in an environment where "everyone is a winner", everyone gets awards, and just being present or "participating" is adequate grounds for recognition.  Really?  The world is a competitive place.  When entering the workforce, will just being present be rewarded?  Will everyone be a "winner" or will they face the reality that recognition, rewards and bonuses etc based on performance?  How well an adult deals with the disappointments of not winning, not meeting expectations or simply not getting what they want, is dependent on their development of coping skills while dealing with similar situations while growing up. 

Naturally, parents want to "protect" their children from experiencing the discomfort and disappointment of losing.  They don't want their child to "feel" bad.  This philosophy has even crept into education where building self esteem is linked to not losing, everyone is a winner or special, and showing effort vs. meeting standards is enough.  In some situations the "red pencil corrections"  on a student's work have been replaced by  "non-negative/feel good" colors (ie. purple).  Constructive criticism is viewed as hurtful and non productive.  However, research shows that these practices are doing more harm than good.

According to Jean Twenge, author of Generation Me:  Having studied recent increases in narcissism and entitlement among college students, she warns that when living rooms are filled with participation trophies, it’s part of a larger cultural message: to succeed, you just have to show up. In college, those who’ve grown up receiving endless awards do the requisite work, but don’t see the need to do it well. In the office, they still believe that attendance is all it takes to get a promotion.  In life, “you’re going to lose more often than you win, even if you’re good at something,” Ms. Twenge told me. “You’ve got to get used to that to keep going.”  (from Losing is Good for You by Ashley Merryman, New York Times)

The links below discuss the concept of "learning to lose" and why development of this skill is fundamental to healthy emotional development.  Research findings support that losing is good for children, helping them to become adaptable, well adjusted adults.

http://www.education.com/magazine/article/9-reasons-let-your-kids-lose/

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/25/opinion/losing-is-good-for-you.html

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/201002/parenting-the-sad-misuse-self-esteem

http://blog.sfgate.com/sfmoms/2013/09/30/why-kids-need-to-learn-to-lose/

http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Has_the_Self-Esteem_Movement/

http://aspeneducation.crchealth.com/article-too-much-self-esteem/

Today's Musing may not impact you personally, but chances you know someone facing this difficult issue.  It's certainly a delicate one.  Often the talk is about children having problems with developing money management skills and the parents trying to guide and advise their children.

However, parents are not immune to having financial difficulties.  Sometimes these difficulties are due to circumstances vs choices (ie. illness, loss of employment, eroded investments due to poor economy).  Difficulties can also be a result of the parents making poor choices and living an irresponsible lifestyle that they cannot afford.  This is not an easy situation for their adult children to deal with. It is especially difficult if the adult children are successful adults and are making responsible financial choices for themselves and their own  family.  An adult child's response to their parent's request for financial help requires careful thought and consideration.  Depending on circumstances, adult children may need to avoid entanglement in their parent's drama. It is important to know the difference between enabling and helping when deciding how to respond.

Below are a few interesting links that discuss destructive baby boomer debt resulting from irresponsibility and frivolous purchases. They offer helpful advice for those adult children that are caught in the middle (feeling guilty, wanting to help but not wanting to enable).  It's worth a look, if not for your own situation, to share with others who may be struggling with this dilemma.

http://www.daveramsey.com/blog/land-mines-avoid-parents-money-struggles?et_cid=3397429&et_rid=0&linkid=http%3a%2f%2fwww.daveramsey.com%2fblog%2fland-mines-avoid-parents-money-struggles

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/first-person-dealing-baby-boomer-parents-debt-184800368--finance.html

http://financialhighway.com/when-our-aging-parents-have-too-much-debt/

http://www.smartasset.com/blog/personal-finance/tips-for-dealing-with-financially-dependent-parents/

Welcome August.  It's supposed to be the dog days of summer, but where I live, it's been a pretty comfortable and maybe even a cool summer.  With the 4th of July come and gone, price reductions on summer merchandise started to clear the shelves for guess what?  BACK TO SCHOOL!  What may be the 3 most dreaded words for kids around the country are actually welcomed by parents who want to see their children back on regular schedules and busy with learning.  I am sure parents are hearing "I'm bored!" much too often, and have had enough. 

Back to school has become quite a marketing blitz that starts in the middle of summer and marches along until the kids are finally back in school and seated in their desks.  I've been through it with two sons, and have been part of the shopping throngs looking to get school supplies and the back to school wardrobe assembled.  As always, you want to do it right, but get it cheap.  Advertising can really put the pressure on to "overbuy" and potentially come home with every "must have" item...and this isn't just for elementary and high school needs.  There is the college crowd and the dorm "must haves" that can empty your wallet.

It takes a savvy shopper, some planning and some realistic restraint to keep to your budget.  Some things to consider are taking inventory of what you already have that can be reused, shopping sales for loss leaders or incentive items and taking advantage of rebate offers.  For clothing, a money saving strategy that helps is to shop thrift stores for great deals.  For dorm shopping, thrift stores and craigslist offer excellent buys on gently used furniture, small refrigerators, microwaves and other items.

Below are some links to help you with planning for the "back to school" shopping blitz.  Hopefully it will help you to save you some money.

http://www.livingonadime.com/save-money-school-supplies/

http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/2012/07/back-to-school-on-the-cheap/index.htm

http://www.moneycrashers.com/back-to-school-supplies-list-tips/

So, the title implies a "sad" topic and in some ways, it is. Fortunately, this is not going to focus on what you might think. ("death")  This is more about life, growing up, things changing and letting go of what was. 

We've lived in this house for 24 years.  I guess I am pretty fortunate to have been able to stay in one home that long. Given the lifestyles of people these days, they move quite often out of necessity or choice.  This is only my second home since getting married.  We moved here when our two children were 2 years old and 4 months old. This is the childhood home for my children, and the only home where all their memories and experiences of growing up are connected.

After we moved here, we worked on home improvements and did a major redo of the outside landscaping.  We added many shrubs, plants and trees over the years. Some did not do well and are gone, but for the most part, many have matured and grown up to be fine specimens.  One of the largest plantings is the fine old ash tree we planted in front of our house shortly after moving in.

Nothing stays the same.  That tree grew quickly, spreading its dense branches and foliage into a protective canopy.  It shaded and cooled our home in the hot summers and provided a cool place to sit for our family and our pets.  The canopy grew to be so dense, it even kept rain from falling on our little dogs when they went out to do their business.  It had to be a very hard rain before it would penetrate the leaves and fall onto the ground below.  Squirrels and birds took advantage of the protective environment to build their nests and raise their young.

Nothing stays the same.  As the ash tree grew tall, so did our children!  Our front yard and dead end street was "the" place to be for all the neighborhood kids.  They rode their bikes, played ball and street hockey and did all the things groups of little friends do. In the fall, piles of leaves were inviting to jump in.  Over time, every one of those children grew up to be young adults who have finished school, started jobs and are now finding their way in life.   Some have even married.

Nothing stays the same.  That ash tree stood tall and majestic though those years until a tiny insect called an Emerald Ash Borer made its appearance.  A glossy green insect with beauty that belied its threat, marched across the United States leaving devastation in its wake. They devoured ash trees throughout the country, leaving only skeletal remains of its victims standing in forests and cities.  Their attacks were slow and often unseen, with damage happening under the bark.  It eventually caused the trees to die a slow death.  They choked, starting at the top, and moving to the roots.  Scientists labored to find a treatment and  eventually discovered one that could stop the carnage.  But it was much too late for many of the trees. We have 3 ash trees on our property. The front yard tree the biggest one.  When the treatment became available, we immediately started treating our trees. We thought we had successfully weathered the assault on the area trees as ours continued to do well season after season when others around us died.  Over time, our 3 trees were part of only a few surviving trees in the area.  We breathed a sigh of relief and kept caring for them.

Nothing stays the same.  Last spring, we had multiple freezes that killed the tender spring growth on plants.  That majestic ash tree leafed out 3 times, determined to survive.  We worried, "can the tree handle it?"  It did. However, the demand on its resources resulted in a thinner but adequate canopy. We had another summer to enjoy the beauty and shade. 

Nothing stays the same.  Enter the winter from hell.  Terrible cold and snow, the likes we haven't seen in our lifetimes.  That winter took a terrible toll on many plants.  Come spring, the extent of the damage became clear to many homeowners as many plants died or suffered significant damage from the brutal temperatures.  Our ash tree struggled in the spring, and showed signs of problems. There were dead branches and the canopy was sparse and leaves were small.  Stressed trees don't handle invaders well, and apparently ash borers took advantage of that weakness and did their dirty work last year and into this spring.

Nothing stays the same.  A tree specialist came out to examine "our patient".  He thought "maybe" we could help it, but the tree is pretty "sick".  It was a difficult thing to hear.  Sadly, we've decided to "let go" and we have made the decision to take the tree down.  It's just a tree, I know, but it has ties to our lives and is part of our home.  We chose it, planted it, fed, pruned and nurtured it. We fought hard to keep it healthy and safe.  We briefly won the battle, but ultimately the ash borer and unusual weather circumstances will bring it to its end.  It's hard to let go of something that you have cared for so intensely and have enjoyed for so many years.

Nothing stays the same. In coming to terms with this pending loss, I couldn't help but look at the bigger picture. I see so many similarities between our children and our tree.  Our children grew tall, like the tree.  They are a significant part of our lives and tied to our memories of our home.  As our children grew, they expanded their interests and abilities, their experiences and their journeys, much like a tree grows and build its dense canopy of branches and leaves.  We worked hard to keep them healthy, to keep them safe, and to keep them strong.  We nurtured the good and pruned away the negative.  Our children grew to be healthy, strong, and sturdy young people.  Our children have matured as our tree has matured.  Yet, the time has come to "let go" of our tree and in some ways, it's time to "let go" of our children too.  Now that they have reached adulthood, it's time to let them go (from our care) so they can move on to live their own lives.  Unlike our tree though, which will be gone for good, our children will continue to be part of our lives.  They are just not necessarily going to be in our home and dependent on us for care.   They are transplanting themselves in their own yard of life.

Nothing stays the same.

Yesterday I wrote about the topics of hoarding, collecting and minimalist living. 

Today's thoughts are about the changes happening with different generations and their views about family heirlooms and inheritance of the personal items of ancestors.. Many people (including me) think that hanging on to cherished items, some rather old and passed down through generations will be appreciated and desired by our children.  However, that type of thinking seems to be changing with younger people. More young people now view our treasured collections and memorabilia as outdated, a burden, or not desirable to receive or keep. 

Ouch! That really hurts. What's really important to us does not necessarily transfer over to the next generation's lifestyle.  The New York Times article with link listed below states: "A meaningful legacy is one that matters both to giver and to taker."  That's definitely something to keep in mind.

I do have to admit that my thoughts about some family possessions have also "changed" a bit compared to my parents. So I kind of "get it", when it comes to feelings of detachment from family possessions.  My dad proudly wanted to pass along my mom's Persian lamb coat for me to wear.  (Uh, not something I really desired). I passed on the offering.  It ended up going to their grandson's wife.  Prior to that, my mom gave me her very expensive (when they bought it), mink stole.  (Again, not something I really desired).  I took it though, and hung on to it to make her happy and to be able to show it to her if she asked.  Ironically, mom never really loved those furs, but dad was insistent about buying them for her.  I think it was more about him than her.  Wearing furs back then was a sign of "making it" in life.  I still have it, but not for long, I hope.  The "mink coat" article links appearing below offer an interesting look at the dilemma of the "inherited mink coat".

I've noticed this "change" over time as estate sales seem to have more sentimental and personal items, some very personal,  for sale.  I am surprised to see very personal and irreplaceable items like ancestors photographs, photo albums, scrapbooks, family bibles, military medals and uniforms offered at estate sales.  There's also usable and nice looking furniture, household items, collectables, vintage or antique items, all priced, displayed and ready to sell.  I've seen the same on Craigs List.  It's not just moving sales you see listed, but children selling their parent's or grandparent's stuff because they just don't want it.  As an article in the Star Tribune stated "Scattered families, warp-speed lifestyles and changing tastes have resulted in a growing inventory of orphaned heirlooms - from fine china and formal furniture to old photos and love letters."

The article goes on to say that children and grandchildren don't place the same value on inherited and heirloom possessions.  One reason claimed is that people have changed and now value time and experiences more than objects.  A lifestyle of mobility makes inheriting "stuff" a burden.  I can't help but wonder if they will regret that thinking when they are seniors themselves, and thinking about passing on their things.  Once items from the family legacy are gone, they cannot be retrieved.

As a result, as more collections and possessions are entering the market to be sold, the supply is surpassing demand and monetary value of items are dropping.  Some things aren't even desirable when free.  Big, formal, heavy furniture is less desirable.  Older but serviceable pianos are hard to sell, and lately, I have seen them being given away and/or scrapped!  Some are very beautiful antique and vintage pianos with carvings and unusual wood grains. 

Below are links to stories about the change in lifestyle of generations and what families are facing when trying to deal with the inherited "stuff".  I know that personally, we are in the process of decluttering and minimalizing.  I'm taking a hard look at some of the family heirlooms and sentimental items and trying to make decisions. That includes some of the "stuff" from my parents that made it's way into my house after dissolving their estate.  Some pieces are special to me, but will my kids want them?   I really don't know.  Maybe I'll just let it be and let the kids can sort it out when I'm gone.  At least then I won't know about what happens!

Articles about changes in how generations view heirlooms:

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-11-25/business/ct-met-stuffkeepers-20121125_1_boomers-heirlooms-generation/2

http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/homegarden/203862871.html

http://online.wsj.com/articles/why-the-market-for-heirloom-and-secondhand-furniture-has-disappeared-1404256129

Here's some great articles about family legacy and the "inherited mink coat".....

http://betterafter50.com/2013/12/my-moms-fur-coat/

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/12/booming/my-mothers-mink.html?_r=0